Do you ever find yourself saying "if only I could ________ like _________?" You fill in the blank. I caught myself the other day, thinking if only I could run a meeting like so and so. As I thought about it some more, I realized that I was comparing myself with somebody who has much more experience and practice than I.
Comparing yourself to others can really be demoralizing. Instead, I like how its done in sports such as cross country and track. They keep track of your personal best. You compete against yourself.
My daughter was in cross country last year and she was down after a meet because she was almost in last place. So I suggested we look at her times instead of how she stacked up with the other kids. By the way, and this is pretty cool, the coaches would hand out a piece of paper to the students after each competition with their latest time and their past times. When we compared her time to past performances, we could see that she had improved and was continuing to improve. Your personal best- that is all you can do. And practice will improve your personal best always.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Do as I say and not as I Do- I don't think so.
I hate to admit it, but I've been guilty of using this phrase in the past. What a cop-out. It's just an excuse for me to do what I want to do and not hold myself accountable. I believe great leaders lead by example and not just words. I, in no way profess to be a great leader; however, I do strive to be the best leader I can with my family, with my business and in my community.
I recently had the chance to test my own commitment to this principle. I somehow knew this would happen, too.
This past Saturday, one of my fellow *Toastmasters was competing in an area contest. I verbally committed to being at the contest and tried to encourage the other members from our club to come out and support his efforts. As fate would have it, the very next day after making this commitment, I found out one of my business partners and mentor from the East Coast was going to be here in California that same Saturday for training. Now I had a dilemma. Do I stick with my first commitment and support my friend competing or do I go to a meeting with one of my partners I rarely see?
After some gut-wrenching thought, I knew what I needed to do. I actually knew all along the right decision. I was just trying to rationalize how I could wiggle out of my commitment.
I am so glad I made the right choice. It was a great contest and I was there supporting my fellow teammate. And the icing on the cake- he won the contest! I was so blessed to be a part of his experience. I left the contest energized and excited. I am still stoked (notice the time stamp of this post).
Teach commitment, teach teamwork and if necessary, use words.
*Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of meeting locations.
I recently had the chance to test my own commitment to this principle. I somehow knew this would happen, too.
This past Saturday, one of my fellow *Toastmasters was competing in an area contest. I verbally committed to being at the contest and tried to encourage the other members from our club to come out and support his efforts. As fate would have it, the very next day after making this commitment, I found out one of my business partners and mentor from the East Coast was going to be here in California that same Saturday for training. Now I had a dilemma. Do I stick with my first commitment and support my friend competing or do I go to a meeting with one of my partners I rarely see?
After some gut-wrenching thought, I knew what I needed to do. I actually knew all along the right decision. I was just trying to rationalize how I could wiggle out of my commitment.
I am so glad I made the right choice. It was a great contest and I was there supporting my fellow teammate. And the icing on the cake- he won the contest! I was so blessed to be a part of his experience. I left the contest energized and excited. I am still stoked (notice the time stamp of this post).
Teach commitment, teach teamwork and if necessary, use words.
*Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of meeting locations.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Who is Standing Guard?
Who do you have stationed at the gate of your mind? Barney Fife with his single bullet or Dirty Harry with his 44 mag? I don't know about you, but I will take Detective Callahan and his "Shoot first, ask questions later" attitude every time. Don't feel so lucky now, do you, negative thoughts.Negative thoughts are like a thief in the night. He comes in unnoticed, when you least expect it and when you awake, you find all that you worked so hard to build is gone. So cunning, so deceptive is he. He seems so innocent at first. Negative thoughts are like a lion cub; it seems so cute and innocent until it grows up. Then all it wants to do is eat you!
So what can you do to guard your mind from the negative thoughts?
1) Be ever vigilante. Be like a military scout, scanning the horizon for a small dust cloud in the distance or the glint reflected from the the rifle of an approaching enemy. It is a constant battle. Be especially wary when you are tired or sick.
2)Write your negative thoughts on paper then write the opposite truth of each. Expose the negative thought and combat it with the truth.
3) Fill your mind with positive thoughts before going to bed at night. Your sub-conscious mind is very powerful and goes to work while you sleep. Definitely, do not watch the news before bed!
What do you do to remain positive?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Have You Done Everything You Can Do?
A few months ago, I finally saw the movie "Rudy". This movie came out in the mid 90's and it has been recommended to me by a few different people for awhile now. It is a great movie based on a true story. By the way, if you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. There are quite a few life lessons that can be gleaned from this film. It is the story of a young man who has a dream of playing football for Notre Dame and the adversity he must overcome to reach his dream. By the end, of the movie, I was crying like a baby (I know, it's a little embarrassing).
There is a part in the movie where Rudy is attending a junior college while he is trying to get accepted into Notre Dame. In this one scene he meets with a father who is counseling him and Rudy asks "Have I done everything I can Do?". What a powerful question.
Do you reflect on your day and think about what you did well and what you can do better? Can you say, at the end of the day, "I have done everything I can to be one step closer to my dreams and goals"?
One other side note, it is just as important to reflect on your successes as it is to review the things you could have done better. We can talk more about this specifically in future blogs.
There is a part in the movie where Rudy is attending a junior college while he is trying to get accepted into Notre Dame. In this one scene he meets with a father who is counseling him and Rudy asks "Have I done everything I can Do?". What a powerful question.
Do you reflect on your day and think about what you did well and what you can do better? Can you say, at the end of the day, "I have done everything I can to be one step closer to my dreams and goals"?
One other side note, it is just as important to reflect on your successes as it is to review the things you could have done better. We can talk more about this specifically in future blogs.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Championships are Won on Your Bad Days: Lessons from RC
Who is RC? Ricky Carmichael.
5 Time AMA Supercross Champion
10 Time AMA Motocross Champion
Nickname: The GOAT
Famous Quote: "Championships are won on your bad days"
For a motorcycle racer, when he has a bad start or has a crash during a race, he needs to get back on his bike and refocus; block out the negative of what just happen, control his breathing and focus on the race in front of him.
What about the rest of us?
It's easy to have a good attitude when things are going well. But how are you on your bad days? What is your attitude when everything is going wrong? How do you turn it around? These are the days that really test your meddle; these are the days you find out who you really are and what you're made of. These are the times when you need to keep your focus on where you want to go and avoid the ruts of negative thought.
On a personal note:
This hit home with me recently with a situation with our own family. Our two dogs got out of the yard the other morning and they were gone. We found Xander that afternoon, fortunately, but Betty was still missing when we went to bed that night. My son, also, lost the gas cap on his car earlier that day and neglected to tell me until after 9 o'clock that night when the auto parts stores were already closed. In that moment, I began to think of all that had transpired this day and it would have been very easy for me to take it out on my son at that point. Instead, I blocked out the negative, controlled my breathing (and tongue) and focused on the situation in front of us.
I had a very difficult time sleeping that night. I noticed my thoughts continued to spiral downward and I even began focusing on other negative situations in my life besides our dog. I finally had to get up and do something about it. I needed to fill my mind with positive to counteract the negative thoughts in my head. I just read a for a short time, but it did the trick. I was able to go back to bed fairly quickly and with a completely different mindset.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending: one of our family friends found Betty the following morning. I also experienced firsthand, how important it is for me to control my thoughts and attitude during difficult times.
Ricky Carmichael is now retired from motorcycle racing, but we can still learn from his words of wisdom.
"Championships are won on your bad days."
Watch this video tribute to Ricky Carmichael and find out why Ricky he is called "The GOAT" - it's probably not what you think.
5 Time AMA Supercross Champion
10 Time AMA Motocross Champion
Nickname: The GOAT
Famous Quote: "Championships are won on your bad days"
For a motorcycle racer, when he has a bad start or has a crash during a race, he needs to get back on his bike and refocus; block out the negative of what just happen, control his breathing and focus on the race in front of him.
What about the rest of us?
It's easy to have a good attitude when things are going well. But how are you on your bad days? What is your attitude when everything is going wrong? How do you turn it around? These are the days that really test your meddle; these are the days you find out who you really are and what you're made of. These are the times when you need to keep your focus on where you want to go and avoid the ruts of negative thought.
On a personal note:
This hit home with me recently with a situation with our own family. Our two dogs got out of the yard the other morning and they were gone. We found Xander that afternoon, fortunately, but Betty was still missing when we went to bed that night. My son, also, lost the gas cap on his car earlier that day and neglected to tell me until after 9 o'clock that night when the auto parts stores were already closed. In that moment, I began to think of all that had transpired this day and it would have been very easy for me to take it out on my son at that point. Instead, I blocked out the negative, controlled my breathing (and tongue) and focused on the situation in front of us.
I had a very difficult time sleeping that night. I noticed my thoughts continued to spiral downward and I even began focusing on other negative situations in my life besides our dog. I finally had to get up and do something about it. I needed to fill my mind with positive to counteract the negative thoughts in my head. I just read a for a short time, but it did the trick. I was able to go back to bed fairly quickly and with a completely different mindset.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending: one of our family friends found Betty the following morning. I also experienced firsthand, how important it is for me to control my thoughts and attitude during difficult times.
Ricky Carmichael is now retired from motorcycle racing, but we can still learn from his words of wisdom.
"Championships are won on your bad days."
Watch this video tribute to Ricky Carmichael and find out why Ricky he is called "The GOAT" - it's probably not what you think.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Your Approach
How do you approach life?
Since I was a kid, I've heard it said "live each day as if it's your last". This has never worked for me. It evokes feelings of fear and anxiety. So much to do and so little time. It's a bit overwhelming for me. I would probably spend my day doing something on my bucket list instead of doing the things I need to do.
What if, instead, we spent each day as if it was our first? Remember the first time you met your spouse or saw your kids or your first day on the job. This, to me, evokes feelings of excitement and wonder.
What if we approached each day as a child? What if looked forward to the rain or stopped and or awoke early to enjoy the sunrise? What if we asked more "why" questions. Us adults can learn a lot from kids.
How would you live if today was your first?
Since I was a kid, I've heard it said "live each day as if it's your last". This has never worked for me. It evokes feelings of fear and anxiety. So much to do and so little time. It's a bit overwhelming for me. I would probably spend my day doing something on my bucket list instead of doing the things I need to do.
What if, instead, we spent each day as if it was our first? Remember the first time you met your spouse or saw your kids or your first day on the job. This, to me, evokes feelings of excitement and wonder.
What if we approached each day as a child? What if looked forward to the rain or stopped and or awoke early to enjoy the sunrise? What if we asked more "why" questions. Us adults can learn a lot from kids.
How would you live if today was your first?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Who Get's the Credit?
Football season is upon us. I really enjoy football. Besides the bone-crushing action, I also like the correlation between football (or any sport for the matter) and life. Goal-setting, team work, practice and preparation are just a few of the things we can glean from sports. And if you would like to learn about leadership, study the coach.
If you ever watch the post-game interviews, you will notice a common thread among the great coaches. When the team wins, the coach will give all the credit to the team. He will praise the offensive line for their great pass protection and the running lanes they created. He will talk about how the quarterback made the right decisions and protected the ball; and how the defense really stepped up when they needed to and so on and so forth. On the other hand, when the team loses, these same coaches will take complete responsibility and blame for the loss. You will never hear him blame even one player when the team loses. Isn't that the epitome of great leadership?
"You can accomplish anything, if you don't care who gets the credit." Harry S. Truman.
What is more important to you? Getting the credit or accomplishing the goal?
On the flip side, would you be willing to take one for the team and be the "fall guy" when things don't go according to plan- even if it wasn't your fault?
If you ever watch the post-game interviews, you will notice a common thread among the great coaches. When the team wins, the coach will give all the credit to the team. He will praise the offensive line for their great pass protection and the running lanes they created. He will talk about how the quarterback made the right decisions and protected the ball; and how the defense really stepped up when they needed to and so on and so forth. On the other hand, when the team loses, these same coaches will take complete responsibility and blame for the loss. You will never hear him blame even one player when the team loses. Isn't that the epitome of great leadership?
"You can accomplish anything, if you don't care who gets the credit." Harry S. Truman.
What is more important to you? Getting the credit or accomplishing the goal?
On the flip side, would you be willing to take one for the team and be the "fall guy" when things don't go according to plan- even if it wasn't your fault?
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